Who are the Independent Baptists, and what do they believe? Thousands have come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ because one man followed in obedience where the Lord led. You gave. You have found True Christianity. A new website has launched with the aim of helping single New Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (NIFB) find each other for hopes of love and matrimony, with a niche focus and stringent guidelines being a feature, not a bug. You brought the best of yourself. Amendment though shalt say amen during service but only if you are male. It's just the nature of them I guess. Let me stress here at the beginning that this is not about churches affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention; those Baptist churches are thought to be too liberal by the independent fundamentalists. Landmarkism: The Original Fundamental Baptists? - BaptistBasics.org He did not respond to specific questions that were sent to him. He will very quickly come to know that any time he is laid down there is no alternative but to stay put. NIFB Is A Cult | The NIFB Will Not Be Tolerated - How Is the New IFB A Seven Lies Of The Independent Baptist - Johnny The Baptist You have left them now to themselves, and stepped into your own world. Maybe so. Fundies forget that God can do a sudden I have changed my mind crazy Ivan on them at any moment. Especially about another member of the church, said Josh Elliott, a former member of Vineyards Oklahoma City church. Defeat him totally. For their own dark reasons they kept that wicked dance going. And then the other philosophy is its wrong to say anything bad about another preacher.. It tried to explain and figure out why IFB churches seem to be drying up and closing their doors. I am certain you are far more intelligent a man than I am, so I do not wish to debate you. Fundamental. If you have to sit on him to spank him then do not hesitate. I grew up with kids who were in churches like that one. All articles free to share and God bless! (Not the liberal InterVarsity, mind you, Campus Crusade.). For decades, women and children have faced rampant sexual abuse while worshiping at independent fundamental Baptist churches around the country. Twenty-one abuse allegations were uncovered exclusively by the Star-Telegram, and others were documented in criminal cases, lawsuits and news reports. People who think that sexual abuse and its systematic cover-up is something that happens only in Roman Catholic Churches ought to read this devastating series in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, about how the same thing has been happening in a national network of independent fundamental Baptist churches. It surrenders far too much to allow that fundamental refers to the core doctrines of the Christian faith. The fundamentals of fundamentalists are mainly not that at all, but rather a host of relatively recent doctrinal innovations, such as inerrancy. However, many of these churches have affiliations through theological colleges or pastoral friendships. * This paywall nonsense is unnecessary, counter-productive, and really disrespectful of the papers investigative team. This group is for fellowship, sharing of resources, devotional thoughts, posting of sermons, news of interest, ministry ideas, missionary/church links, KJV verse photos, and general edification. It is a Bible Baptist church. I really want to write a book or start a podcast about all this shit at some point. Hundreds of Sex Abuse Allegations Found in Fundamentalist BaptistChurches, Fea wrote, following the Star-Telegrams report. They might as well be Mormons.Sense they add their own rules and Bible.They are acting as a cult its not biblical.Gal1:8 They are teaching false teachings,And not the doctrines of the Bible.They are Just adding their own rules. Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) Deception - Exposing the Additionally, many independent Baptist fundamentalists practice "second-degree separatism," distancing themselves not only from "the world" but also from fellow Christians who do not share. They attended Bill Gothard seminars and proudly embraced that whole creepy business. [8] They refuse any form of ecclesial authority other than that of the local church. I had the pleasure of hearing Dr. Roberson, a couple of times, when I was in College! He speaks for God, and God alone may judge him. 1 2 3. If the crying turns to a true, wounded, submissive whimper, you have conquered; he has submitted his will. Forums For Independent Baptists - Online Baptist Community Because its in human nature, for one, and for another, because the clergy have an extraordinary amount of power (real and symbolic) within the ecclesiology of both churches. The philosophy is you dont air your dirty laundry in front of everyone. Though not all in the movement look the same, the Duggars showcase several theological and cultural distinctives common among independent fundamental Baptists: adhering to strict biblical inerrancy, usually based exclusively on the King James Version (KJV); homeschooling; abstaining from pop culture as entertainment; and dressing modestly. How I struggled to free myself from this oppressive thinking. Or their kids just went to Rutgers, but with the assurance that they would be faithful members of a Campus Crusade chapter there. Look at centralized Catholicisms opportunity to shuffle priests from one parish to another, few questions asked. The church was established in 1975 with a small band of seventy-five people. In your cynical statement about the seemingly unseen book of rules, you failed to mention that they ultimately came from a God who loves you, and has your best interest at heart. Unless you are a college student on a bus route. Although I did finally deconvert I resent the years I lost trying to live under these ridiculous guidelines. Jesus gives his own list in the Sermon on the Mount and Matthew 24/25. The Lord Jesus Christ Saves - His Plan of Salvatio Real Men Love Pink A Collection of Quotes by A. W. Pink, Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry. Baptism means that a believer is bodily immersed in water followed by being raised up out of the water again. They kept what worked for them. It's unlikely there isn't an IFB church within a half-hour drive from your house. Shellnut also draws on Messiah College historian John Feas description of these independent fundamentalist Baptists, so lets turn to that. The investigation is ongoing. You loved when you had no more love to give. Trieber took his glasses off. Baptism therefore represents the Gospel, which consists of the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus. You ought to repent of this attitude and behavior while you are yet alive and repair your relationship with a God who undoubtedly still loves you, and stop taking an active hand in encouraging others to sin against a Holy God and ensuring their damnation. I sometimes post on another board and (hopefully its ok) I would like to link a thread that is going on over there. Praise god amen we were unharmed.except for being fucked mentally for years. He alone is allowed to change his mind. This means that there are approximately 7.85 million IFBs in America today. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. In response to an explosive investigation, top Southern Baptists have released a previously secret list of hundreds of pastors and other church-affiliated personnel accused of . Every abortion, without exception, is murder. So I messaged and they do baptisms. Independent fundamental Baptist churches include those loosely affiliated in fellowships more common in the North as well as those whose pastors may share particular networksmore common in the South Central Baptist Theological Seminary professor Kevin Baudertold Quick to Listenfor the CT podcasts explainer on such churches. There is no appreciable moral distinction between homosexuality and bestiality, incest, child molestation or rape. After I graduated from that school I didnt wear a skirt for 2 years at my secular university! If, after putting him down, you remember he just woke up, do not reward his complaining by allowing him to get up. The Independent Fundamental Baptist Denomination paints a picture of God also as one who is a military leader, unhappy with all the disobedience happening among his people and patiently waiting for when he can punish us and correct our deviant behavior. What does the description of an "Independent Fundamental Baptist" Church mean? Much of this movement was a response to the so-called neo-evangelical movement. You trusted. There's something going on that wasn't here before. Oh my. Thou shalt not work a job as a woman even if thou canst afford the private school and live in a shitty house because your husband spends all his after tax money on the private school and tithing. Students may be expelled at any time, for any reason, if the president of the school deems the reason sufficient (my 2nd grade brother was expelled for defiance). They cant even follow their own bible when it contradicts their dogma. But these folks were seen as a little bit too much by most of the people in the church, whose kids got to choose places like Philadelphia College of the Bible or Northeastern Bible College. Jerry Falwell, the founder of Liberty University, came out of this tradition, but he was quicklydisownedby his fellow separatist Baptists when he decided to get involved in politics. Sermon Outlines - The Bible-Believing Fundamentalist But I find it believable (which is not to say that I believe it, if you appreciate the distinction). Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. This will of course be true with any large group of people. Thou shalt not eat at a restaurant on Sunday. The central role of white supremacy explicit and implicit in the independent fundamentalist Baptist movement deserves more study and more insight than I can easily provide. My religious upbringing was pretty bizarre, but this stuff? Advent Calendar Day 17: Fair and foul are near of kin, TRENDING AT PATHEOS Progressive Christian, Independent Fundamentalist Baptists are a creepy, creepy bunch. Aug 10, 2008. That hide it under terms like order and discipline in order to enforce it. A bit later can you guess where this is going? Thou wilt pledge money on the last Sunday evening of every month to the building fund even if you cant pay your rent or mortgage on the first. The reason why Im so fervent, so passionate about it this morning is because I relived all of those feelings of what its like to be abused and the one that does the abuse is the one that always comes out the other side smelling like a rose and goes down the road to another church so he can do it again to somebody else.. If the crying is still defiant, protesting and other than a response to pain, spank him again. See where Im going with this? If your reliably unreliable Comcast wifi cuts out, or if your screen-saver kicks in, the paywall will prevent you from finishing the article. To get up is to be on the firing line and get switched back down. (Please note: if thou art truly right with God, the only acceptable team to pull for is Michigan State). Copyright 2023 The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser Powered by Flywheel, Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Lingo, A Guide to IFB-Speak, Black Collar Crime: Pastor Eddy Noelsaint Accused of Rape, Black Collar Crime: Evangelical Youth Pastor Josh Henley Sentenced to Forty-Five Years in Prison for Sex Crimes Against Children, Black Collar Crime: Evangelical Student Ministry Leader Vernon Willis Accused of Inappropriately Touching Church Girls, Evangelicals are an Existential Threat to the United States, Some Atheists Think I was Stupid for not Deconverting Sooner, Black Collar Crime: Catholic School Teacher Verity Beck Accused of Murdering Her Parents, Black Collar Crime: Evangelical Evangelist Chris Brooks Accused of Assaulting His Wife, Why I Write The Black Collar Crime Series and Will Continue to Do So Despite Criticism from Evangelicals, Dr. David Tee Thinks Everyone Who is Not a Christian is an Atheist, Bruce, I Pray You Will Have Your Eyes Opened and the Truth will Guide You, Dont Dress Like a Whore if You Dont Want to Get Sexually Assaulted Says Lori Alexander, Thou shalt obey all adults at all times if you are a child or teenager, Thou shalt obey your husband at all times if you are a woman, Thou shalt obey your parents at all times, Thou shalt obey the police and government unless the pastor says it is a sin against God to do so, Thou shalt give a faith promise missionary offering, Thou give an offering any time the pastor says God is saying to collect a special offering, Thou shalt attend church every time the doors are open, Thou shalt pray for every meal, but ice cream at Dairy Queen after church requires no prayer, Thou shalt only use the King James Bible 1611 edition which is really the 1769 revision, Thou shalt only use the Scofield King James Bible, Thou shalt not have long hair (over your ears, collar) if you are a man, Thou shalt not have a block cut hairstyle if you are a man, Thou shalt not have facial hair if you are a man, but if you are a woman you can have facial hair, Thou shalt not have tattoos unless you have prison tats from your life before Christ, Thou shalt not take the hem out of your Levi jeans or alter your clothing in any way so that you look worldly, Thou shalt not wear pants (britches) if you are a woman, Thou shalt not wear shorts, but a woman can wear Baptist shorts also known as culottes, Thou shalt not expose any flesh if you are a woman, especially your thighs, breasts, or back, Thou shalt only wear dresses with hemlines below the knees if you are a woman, Thou shalt not have any physical contact with the opposite sex if you are unmarried, Thou shalt not have more than one hole in each ear if you are a woman, Thou shalt not pierce any body part except your ear, and then only if you are a woman, Thou shalt not watch TV, but if you are a carnal Christian and must watch TV thou shalt only watch, Thou shalt not go to the movie theater, but using streaming services is okay, Thou shalt always have tracts in your shirt pocket or purse, ready to evangelize at a moments notice, Thou shalt drive a car with church advertising stickers, IFB cliches, or Bible verses attached to the bumper, Thou shalt park down the street when visiting the local strip club or whore house lest the pastor know you are there and stay away, Thou shalt not listen to secular music, especially rock music, which is from the pit of hell, Thou shalt not listen to contemporary Christian music (CCM), Thou shalt not drink fermented alcohol after all, Jesus drank Welchs grape juice, Thou shalt not cuss, but saying darn, shoot, crap, freaking, and fudge are okay, Thou shalt not date non-Independent Baptist girls or boys, Thou shalt not have any non-Independent Baptist friends, Thou shalt home school your children or send them to a Christian school, Thou shalt only read pastor-approved Christian books, Thou shalt only believe what the pastor says you are to believe, Thou shalt say you have victory over sin, even if you are lying, Thou shalt adhere to the perception is reality rule, Thou shalt send your kids to the same Christian college the pastor went to, Thou shalt leave the church if you commit adultery, get a divorce, or get pregnant outside of marriage, Thou shalt believe everything the pastor says even when you are certain he is lying, speaking evangelistically, or embellishing his illustrations, Thou shalt wear a bra if you are a woman, and it can only be a white, underwire bra, Thou shalt not mix bathe (Baptist for swimming with the opposite sex), Thou shalt not go to amusement parks unless the youth group is going, Thou shalt not show emotion unless praising Jesus from 10:00 am to noon on Sunday or giving a testimony during Sunday evening service, Thou shalt say AMEN during at the appropriate time during the pastors sermon, especially when he shouts, pounds the pulpit, or performs gymnastics, Thou shalt not be angry even though the pastor is allowed to be angry, but thats because his anger is righteous anger, Thou shalt be for what the pastor is for and against what the pastor is against, because if you dont, a bear might come out of the woods and eat you, Thou shalt ignore any science that contradicts the Bible, Thou shalt never try to fix your own problems because the pastor is the official fixer of all problems, Thou shalt takes notes on the sermon even if the rabbit wanders five miles off the trail or the sermon is incoherent, Thou shalt always tell the pastor what a wonderful sermon he preached, even when you have no idea what he was talking about, Thou shalt always tell Sister Bertha what a wonderful job she did with her off-key rendition of, Thou shalt not use canned (taped) music for music specials. 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independent fundamental baptist problems

These other distinctions, distinctives and emphases all serve, in varying degrees, as proxies for that.). Who are the Independent Baptists, and what do they believe? Thousands have come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ because one man followed in obedience where the Lord led. You gave. You have found True Christianity. A new website has launched with the aim of helping single New Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (NIFB) find each other for hopes of love and matrimony, with a niche focus and stringent guidelines being a feature, not a bug. You brought the best of yourself. Amendment though shalt say amen during service but only if you are male. It's just the nature of them I guess. Let me stress here at the beginning that this is not about churches affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention; those Baptist churches are thought to be too liberal by the independent fundamentalists. Landmarkism: The Original Fundamental Baptists? - BaptistBasics.org He did not respond to specific questions that were sent to him. He will very quickly come to know that any time he is laid down there is no alternative but to stay put. NIFB Is A Cult | The NIFB Will Not Be Tolerated - How Is the New IFB A Seven Lies Of The Independent Baptist - Johnny The Baptist You have left them now to themselves, and stepped into your own world. Maybe so. Fundies forget that God can do a sudden I have changed my mind crazy Ivan on them at any moment. Especially about another member of the church, said Josh Elliott, a former member of Vineyards Oklahoma City church. Defeat him totally. For their own dark reasons they kept that wicked dance going. And then the other philosophy is its wrong to say anything bad about another preacher.. It tried to explain and figure out why IFB churches seem to be drying up and closing their doors. I am certain you are far more intelligent a man than I am, so I do not wish to debate you. Fundamental. If you have to sit on him to spank him then do not hesitate. I grew up with kids who were in churches like that one. All articles free to share and God bless! (Not the liberal InterVarsity, mind you, Campus Crusade.). For decades, women and children have faced rampant sexual abuse while worshiping at independent fundamental Baptist churches around the country. Twenty-one abuse allegations were uncovered exclusively by the Star-Telegram, and others were documented in criminal cases, lawsuits and news reports. People who think that sexual abuse and its systematic cover-up is something that happens only in Roman Catholic Churches ought to read this devastating series in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, about how the same thing has been happening in a national network of independent fundamental Baptist churches. It surrenders far too much to allow that fundamental refers to the core doctrines of the Christian faith. The fundamentals of fundamentalists are mainly not that at all, but rather a host of relatively recent doctrinal innovations, such as inerrancy. However, many of these churches have affiliations through theological colleges or pastoral friendships. * This paywall nonsense is unnecessary, counter-productive, and really disrespectful of the papers investigative team. This group is for fellowship, sharing of resources, devotional thoughts, posting of sermons, news of interest, ministry ideas, missionary/church links, KJV verse photos, and general edification. It is a Bible Baptist church. I really want to write a book or start a podcast about all this shit at some point. Hundreds of Sex Abuse Allegations Found in Fundamentalist BaptistChurches, Fea wrote, following the Star-Telegrams report. They might as well be Mormons.Sense they add their own rules and Bible.They are acting as a cult its not biblical.Gal1:8 They are teaching false teachings,And not the doctrines of the Bible.They are Just adding their own rules. Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) Deception - Exposing the Additionally, many independent Baptist fundamentalists practice "second-degree separatism," distancing themselves not only from "the world" but also from fellow Christians who do not share. They attended Bill Gothard seminars and proudly embraced that whole creepy business. [8] They refuse any form of ecclesial authority other than that of the local church. I had the pleasure of hearing Dr. Roberson, a couple of times, when I was in College! He speaks for God, and God alone may judge him. 1 2 3. If the crying turns to a true, wounded, submissive whimper, you have conquered; he has submitted his will. Forums For Independent Baptists - Online Baptist Community Because its in human nature, for one, and for another, because the clergy have an extraordinary amount of power (real and symbolic) within the ecclesiology of both churches. The philosophy is you dont air your dirty laundry in front of everyone. Though not all in the movement look the same, the Duggars showcase several theological and cultural distinctives common among independent fundamental Baptists: adhering to strict biblical inerrancy, usually based exclusively on the King James Version (KJV); homeschooling; abstaining from pop culture as entertainment; and dressing modestly. How I struggled to free myself from this oppressive thinking. Or their kids just went to Rutgers, but with the assurance that they would be faithful members of a Campus Crusade chapter there. Look at centralized Catholicisms opportunity to shuffle priests from one parish to another, few questions asked. The church was established in 1975 with a small band of seventy-five people. In your cynical statement about the seemingly unseen book of rules, you failed to mention that they ultimately came from a God who loves you, and has your best interest at heart. Unless you are a college student on a bus route. Although I did finally deconvert I resent the years I lost trying to live under these ridiculous guidelines. Jesus gives his own list in the Sermon on the Mount and Matthew 24/25. The Lord Jesus Christ Saves - His Plan of Salvatio Real Men Love Pink A Collection of Quotes by A. W. Pink, Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry. Baptism means that a believer is bodily immersed in water followed by being raised up out of the water again. They kept what worked for them. It's unlikely there isn't an IFB church within a half-hour drive from your house. Shellnut also draws on Messiah College historian John Feas description of these independent fundamentalist Baptists, so lets turn to that. The investigation is ongoing. You loved when you had no more love to give. Trieber took his glasses off. Baptism therefore represents the Gospel, which consists of the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus. You ought to repent of this attitude and behavior while you are yet alive and repair your relationship with a God who undoubtedly still loves you, and stop taking an active hand in encouraging others to sin against a Holy God and ensuring their damnation. I sometimes post on another board and (hopefully its ok) I would like to link a thread that is going on over there. Praise god amen we were unharmed.except for being fucked mentally for years. He alone is allowed to change his mind. This means that there are approximately 7.85 million IFBs in America today. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. In response to an explosive investigation, top Southern Baptists have released a previously secret list of hundreds of pastors and other church-affiliated personnel accused of . Every abortion, without exception, is murder. So I messaged and they do baptisms. Independent fundamental Baptist churches include those loosely affiliated in fellowships more common in the North as well as those whose pastors may share particular networksmore common in the South Central Baptist Theological Seminary professor Kevin Baudertold Quick to Listenfor the CT podcasts explainer on such churches. There is no appreciable moral distinction between homosexuality and bestiality, incest, child molestation or rape. After I graduated from that school I didnt wear a skirt for 2 years at my secular university! If, after putting him down, you remember he just woke up, do not reward his complaining by allowing him to get up. The Independent Fundamental Baptist Denomination paints a picture of God also as one who is a military leader, unhappy with all the disobedience happening among his people and patiently waiting for when he can punish us and correct our deviant behavior. What does the description of an "Independent Fundamental Baptist" Church mean? Much of this movement was a response to the so-called neo-evangelical movement. You trusted. There's something going on that wasn't here before. Oh my. Thou shalt not work a job as a woman even if thou canst afford the private school and live in a shitty house because your husband spends all his after tax money on the private school and tithing. Students may be expelled at any time, for any reason, if the president of the school deems the reason sufficient (my 2nd grade brother was expelled for defiance). They cant even follow their own bible when it contradicts their dogma. But these folks were seen as a little bit too much by most of the people in the church, whose kids got to choose places like Philadelphia College of the Bible or Northeastern Bible College. Jerry Falwell, the founder of Liberty University, came out of this tradition, but he was quicklydisownedby his fellow separatist Baptists when he decided to get involved in politics. Sermon Outlines - The Bible-Believing Fundamentalist But I find it believable (which is not to say that I believe it, if you appreciate the distinction). Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. This will of course be true with any large group of people. Thou shalt not eat at a restaurant on Sunday. The central role of white supremacy explicit and implicit in the independent fundamentalist Baptist movement deserves more study and more insight than I can easily provide. My religious upbringing was pretty bizarre, but this stuff? Advent Calendar Day 17: Fair and foul are near of kin, TRENDING AT PATHEOS Progressive Christian, Independent Fundamentalist Baptists are a creepy, creepy bunch. Aug 10, 2008. That hide it under terms like order and discipline in order to enforce it. A bit later can you guess where this is going? Thou wilt pledge money on the last Sunday evening of every month to the building fund even if you cant pay your rent or mortgage on the first. The reason why Im so fervent, so passionate about it this morning is because I relived all of those feelings of what its like to be abused and the one that does the abuse is the one that always comes out the other side smelling like a rose and goes down the road to another church so he can do it again to somebody else.. If the crying is still defiant, protesting and other than a response to pain, spank him again. See where Im going with this? If your reliably unreliable Comcast wifi cuts out, or if your screen-saver kicks in, the paywall will prevent you from finishing the article. To get up is to be on the firing line and get switched back down. (Please note: if thou art truly right with God, the only acceptable team to pull for is Michigan State). Copyright 2023 The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser Powered by Flywheel, Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Lingo, A Guide to IFB-Speak, Black Collar Crime: Pastor Eddy Noelsaint Accused of Rape, Black Collar Crime: Evangelical Youth Pastor Josh Henley Sentenced to Forty-Five Years in Prison for Sex Crimes Against Children, Black Collar Crime: Evangelical Student Ministry Leader Vernon Willis Accused of Inappropriately Touching Church Girls, Evangelicals are an Existential Threat to the United States, Some Atheists Think I was Stupid for not Deconverting Sooner, Black Collar Crime: Catholic School Teacher Verity Beck Accused of Murdering Her Parents, Black Collar Crime: Evangelical Evangelist Chris Brooks Accused of Assaulting His Wife, Why I Write The Black Collar Crime Series and Will Continue to Do So Despite Criticism from Evangelicals, Dr. David Tee Thinks Everyone Who is Not a Christian is an Atheist, Bruce, I Pray You Will Have Your Eyes Opened and the Truth will Guide You, Dont Dress Like a Whore if You Dont Want to Get Sexually Assaulted Says Lori Alexander, Thou shalt obey all adults at all times if you are a child or teenager, Thou shalt obey your husband at all times if you are a woman, Thou shalt obey your parents at all times, Thou shalt obey the police and government unless the pastor says it is a sin against God to do so, Thou shalt give a faith promise missionary offering, Thou give an offering any time the pastor says God is saying to collect a special offering, Thou shalt attend church every time the doors are open, Thou shalt pray for every meal, but ice cream at Dairy Queen after church requires no prayer, Thou shalt only use the King James Bible 1611 edition which is really the 1769 revision, Thou shalt only use the Scofield King James Bible, Thou shalt not have long hair (over your ears, collar) if you are a man, Thou shalt not have a block cut hairstyle if you are a man, Thou shalt not have facial hair if you are a man, but if you are a woman you can have facial hair, Thou shalt not have tattoos unless you have prison tats from your life before Christ, Thou shalt not take the hem out of your Levi jeans or alter your clothing in any way so that you look worldly, Thou shalt not wear pants (britches) if you are a woman, Thou shalt not wear shorts, but a woman can wear Baptist shorts also known as culottes, Thou shalt not expose any flesh if you are a woman, especially your thighs, breasts, or back, Thou shalt only wear dresses with hemlines below the knees if you are a woman, Thou shalt not have any physical contact with the opposite sex if you are unmarried, Thou shalt not have more than one hole in each ear if you are a woman, Thou shalt not pierce any body part except your ear, and then only if you are a woman, Thou shalt not watch TV, but if you are a carnal Christian and must watch TV thou shalt only watch, Thou shalt not go to the movie theater, but using streaming services is okay, Thou shalt always have tracts in your shirt pocket or purse, ready to evangelize at a moments notice, Thou shalt drive a car with church advertising stickers, IFB cliches, or Bible verses attached to the bumper, Thou shalt park down the street when visiting the local strip club or whore house lest the pastor know you are there and stay away, Thou shalt not listen to secular music, especially rock music, which is from the pit of hell, Thou shalt not listen to contemporary Christian music (CCM), Thou shalt not drink fermented alcohol after all, Jesus drank Welchs grape juice, Thou shalt not cuss, but saying darn, shoot, crap, freaking, and fudge are okay, Thou shalt not date non-Independent Baptist girls or boys, Thou shalt not have any non-Independent Baptist friends, Thou shalt home school your children or send them to a Christian school, Thou shalt only read pastor-approved Christian books, Thou shalt only believe what the pastor says you are to believe, Thou shalt say you have victory over sin, even if you are lying, Thou shalt adhere to the perception is reality rule, Thou shalt send your kids to the same Christian college the pastor went to, Thou shalt leave the church if you commit adultery, get a divorce, or get pregnant outside of marriage, Thou shalt believe everything the pastor says even when you are certain he is lying, speaking evangelistically, or embellishing his illustrations, Thou shalt wear a bra if you are a woman, and it can only be a white, underwire bra, Thou shalt not mix bathe (Baptist for swimming with the opposite sex), Thou shalt not go to amusement parks unless the youth group is going, Thou shalt not show emotion unless praising Jesus from 10:00 am to noon on Sunday or giving a testimony during Sunday evening service, Thou shalt say AMEN during at the appropriate time during the pastors sermon, especially when he shouts, pounds the pulpit, or performs gymnastics, Thou shalt not be angry even though the pastor is allowed to be angry, but thats because his anger is righteous anger, Thou shalt be for what the pastor is for and against what the pastor is against, because if you dont, a bear might come out of the woods and eat you, Thou shalt ignore any science that contradicts the Bible, Thou shalt never try to fix your own problems because the pastor is the official fixer of all problems, Thou shalt takes notes on the sermon even if the rabbit wanders five miles off the trail or the sermon is incoherent, Thou shalt always tell the pastor what a wonderful sermon he preached, even when you have no idea what he was talking about, Thou shalt always tell Sister Bertha what a wonderful job she did with her off-key rendition of, Thou shalt not use canned (taped) music for music specials.

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